Happy Birthday Dad...

I didn't realize it was my father's birthday until I pulled up the calendar while doing something else. It's been close to ten years since I felt his embrace and heard his soothing words. He was the most amazing man I've ever met and it isn't because I was observing him through the rose colored glasses of a nine year old. I say this because I haven't met anyone able to duplicate the things he could do. His pure athleticism and competitive talent is second to no man who walked this earth. I mean, how many cancer patients have you seen that were able to do walking handstands etc... But what I marveled at the most was his mind. He could crack any stone cold business man while also having the intuitiveness to discuss obscurer topics e.g. rare rubies that are so obscure that the general population believes them to be fake (really interesting story). I don't scratch the surface of this man's accomplishments for the reader, but I am doing it for myself so that I never forget him. His voice has slowly faded away while his proverbs remain. His strongest one was family comes first and for me that extends far beyond blood. I digress. If some day, I could become half as well read as he was, or personable as he was, or as intellectually superior he was, I would be happy. For now I wish him a happy birthday and my thoughts of missing him. I think of him daily and at times try to convince myself that good has come from his death and I am some how better because of it. I am stronger, but I have benefited nothing else. Maybe, though, what I needed more than anything else were the early trials to strengthen me for the long hall. Either way, when we meet again, with our cardboard wings, I'll be anxiously awaiting to hear what you have been up to Dad. 

One Speed for One Reason: Hanley

    You learn amazing things on the History Channel and nothing less should be expected from the show Modern Marvels being hosted by Jay Leno. The topic of discussion on the fine day I happen to turn it on was steam. Steam is used in cooking, bathing, and most importantly engines. A hundred years ago you would find automobiles hissing down the street as opposed to roaring like today, so naturally the hardware under the hood is completely different. Comparatively speaking, when using a pressure cooker there is a pressure regulator on top that starts making a hissing sound when your food is ready. This also prevents the cooker from exploding and redecorating your kitchen wall. The same concept works when operating the governor on a steam car: two balls. Upon reaching maximum velocity/speed, the car can go no faster while the balls swing out wide and produce the expression: "balls out". After a hundred years later and few hard hitting videos on youtube, this expression has a different meaning but expresses the same thing: full throttle, nothing left to give, goin hard and heavy, or if your a Trecky, "I'm giving her all shes got captain!" etc...

    I just read something about a colleague that really disturbed me, "Hardest working person I've met in four years". (insert phrase where I am incapable of doing so myself because of frustration)...............still trying............but legitimately this disturbs me. Why? Cause I'm a Hanley. That name may meaning nothing to most, but here's what it means to me: establishing a territory before it was a state, establishing a business first of its kind, blazing the field while being a trend setter, the Trail of Tears, an immigrant with nothing more than the Protestant work ethic, and most of all--preferring to fight in Afghanistan because when state side--you relax to much and don't have enough work. My history is who I am, not because that's how I was raised but because I choose to embrace my rich heritage.

   Back to why this disturbs me. I've had my ass handed to me on the football field plenty of times, while I've been dunked on the basketball court, and struck out on the baseball field plenty of times, but I enjoy that. I enjoy knowing there is someone better than me because that means there's more for me to achieve. Essentially, I haven't reach the limit. For people like Chris Johnson, he may have with running an unofficial 4.18. With people like Ty Cobb, I doubt anyone will bat as well, as long, ever. Sorry MJ, Bill has 11 rings (not including the ones he has from a managerial position). What MJ has that I do think will never be beat is a season record 72-10. I say this with the intent of pointing out how they got there: being the hardest worker.

    I'm certainly not the most gifted in the family. What I am though, is the hardest working. I do have a bad habit of being lazy in school, but I'm finally breaking that (waiting for the comment, "4 years later and about time"). Reaching back to my roots, I've decided to go to one of the oldest and proudest colleges west of the Mississippi: Mizzou. Grandfather was their valedictorian, Football 2nd Team All-American, and a hell-of-a-lot more other things. Uncle was a preferred walk on and was one of the few underclassmen to eat at the trainers table, scholarship and non scholarship. My father was there during the computer revolution and help establish part of their program there. My mother was a beast as well, but I tired of rehashing their story. I'm ready to write mine.

    In high school, as a freshmen I would stay up at school till 8 working out, while others would go home and play video games. Every lunch I would watch film to get in the head of my opponent, instead of flirting at lunch tables or gaming on my laptop. In the summer, I would take the afternoon work out session while still working outside in the mornings so that I had better conditioning. I took the heaviest man (290lbs) during two-a-days drills for three years and during the hottest August EVER in Texas. Started for three years of my high school career while having two potential career ending injuries, but played through one for a whole season. Unlike most, this is not my career's conclusion; better yet, it is just the introduction. Some know I was switched to being a lineman by the coaches because of insufficient needs, but what most don't know is that I was converted after a couple practices. At tight end, I got to catch the ball and make the pretty plays. As lineman I got to fight. Freshman year, I was tailored against the trio of the meanest s.o.b.s you ever did meet--and I like it. I'd get my ass kicked every practice, but for me it was a challenge. Can I take their best shot and still get back up? Better yet, can I make a play? Can I piss them of, get them to hit me harder, and then see them destroy someone Friday night? Yes. That's what I enjoyed about being a lineman. You were told to not play nice and actually got in trouble if you did. I never had that same experience the next 3yrs. I would dominate, compete, or get hurt. Never again did I really get my ass kicked. Not even by some of the same guys that next year...and I miss it. (Now I reread this and I swear I'm not a sadist) I miss someone having the ability to choke me at will because it forces me to fight. I miss not remembering the previous play because of hard hit. I miss the violence. Tackle was too much a finesse position and that's why I enjoyed the transition to guard. Rule of thumb: the further inside the line and too the right, the more violent the position. Exception: centers against a 4-3 because then they just chip and chop all day, which pisses off people, but isn't as violent, unless he's choppin a backside linebacker. I enjoyed these things, but I never fully got to enjoy them though. I had, what I think is a school record, 5 decleators & two stingers in one game as a gaurd before tearing my ACL the next. The next year I sustained a shoulder injury during preseason that I played through, but later found out it required the removal of a piece of bone that broke off, four sutures, reattaching another ligament, and the shrinking of my rotater cuff. So again, not a real productive season with all that and a still bad knee because of poor post op treatment.

I say all that, not to give excuses, but to give reasons to all those who had the same expectations I had for myself. This also leads into why I am not continuing my football career, though having several offers and guarantees. I say this to let people know my intentions of beginning a fighting career. My freshmen and sophomore years were nothing but fighting for my life against stronger more experienced upperclassmen. My junior and senior years have been spent learning how to walk and sleep again. But that's who I am. That's what God made me to be: a warrior. Though I don't understand why it had to be this way, I do understand why. I know that when I'm driving down a road in Afghanistan and an I.E.D. goes off, I have nothing to worry about--I've already learned how to live without an arm or a leg. When my values in college get tested, I'll know how to fight back. And when I have trouble getting up tomorrow because I couldn't sleep, I'll be ready. You know why? Because I'm a Hanley.

Idk y eye'm ^ late, hbu?

I don't understand why I am blogging at one in the morning. Freud would say that I would be insane to not be fulfilling my desire to voice my self deepest emotional conundrums to an impersonal  entity in cyberspace or simply put, to blog. Why do I find it irrational to to be blogging at 1 in the morning? Because I also desire going to church in less than 8hrs. Then again, Freud would say I was insane because of my belief in God and tolerance of religions hindrance upon my "natural instinct". So to put it frankly, to hell with this guy and this first paragraph of utter nonsense. If you enjoyed this first paragraph, then continue reading the following, but be forewarned: you I.Q. may continue to drop at a rapid right upon further perception of these readings and this first paragraph my be as good as it gets. If it makes you feels any better, the fact you clicked on this in the first place doesn't mean you have to worry about losing much ;).

But on a real note, I was inspired to blog again because of a girl named Meredith at my school. She smart, but her wits didn't inspired me because I've never spoken to her. She memorable, but her stature hasn't directly impressed itself upon me because I can't remember the last time I was in her presence. She is strong, but not relating to the fact she can kick my butt after having shoulder surgery because anyone could do that at the moment. She beautiful, but I'm not attracted to because well...for one that's illegal and two I'm not really looking to be attracted to anyone soooo...let's move on. I could go on and on, but I think you already have the point and instead of boring you by continuing on and treat you as a 3rd grader, let me reiterate. Besides obviously being a creation of God (which is easily the greatest achievement we can accomplish), she is herself, she's SPECIAL. This phrase gets thrown around a lot, but I'm not referencing the light hearted usage of this phrase to comfort a child that gets their feelings hurt because of a lack of accomplishment. I'm reference the deep felt, soul shaking, heart breaking moments when this is used.

Now think of such momentS (emphasis on plural) when you have thought this or when someone has said this to you. It's ok I can wait...

Now that you have thought of this and hopefully others, what do they have in common. The correct answer is, "The positive impact upon others' lives, whether intentional or not". She is special because she has positively impact live inadvertently of people she doesn't even know. "How?", you might ask. Well thanks for asking because I'll tell you. (Did we just have a conversation that stretched over time and space? Yes, yes we did. Do you want to wire all your money to my bank account? Yes, yes you do,)

Elaborating upon this, she is special because she has inspired me to blog again because i have seen the effects of her blogging and how they have touched others. If I could only have an ounce of that effect, man...

So I originally began this with the intent of going somewhere, but in the process I have forgotten what that was. So if you will excuse me, I promise once I recall it I'll either add it on later or create another post. So let me leave you with this: be special.